The Subtle Snub that Divides

By Jana White 
Staff Writer for The Daily Grace Co. 

I’m writing this post to clear the air among many Christian moms out there. There is a phenomenon among Christian moms that puts two sets of moms on opposite sides and we have chosen to subtly wage war against one another. Now, don’t get me wrong. This is likely not intentional (though I fear some may be), but rather, I think it exposes a deeper issue within our hearts. And out of the overflow of our pride and insecurity to engage in a comparison game and our selfish need for someone to affirm the life that we are living, we have hurt one another by pitting our side against the other. So, we find ourselves using social media to support whatever role we are currently in. In one day, I can see Christian sisters snub working moms and in the next scroll of a feed, see a working mom defending why she isn’t a bad mom for working. Enough. This conversation on either side is not loving your sister in Christ. These subtle snubs divide those the Lord has called us to love. In both cases, we are replacing the identity given to us by Christ and His finished work on the cross. We have chosen to find our worth in this rather in Christ. 

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Let’s make one thing clear: You are not better, more holy, more Jesus-like (however you want to say it) because you work a job. And you are not better, more holy, more Jesus-like (however you want to say it) because you are a stay at home mom. I’m sure you, regardless of what role(s) you have would say that either situation has brought immeasurable sanctification to your life. And do you know why this is true? Because it is not you, nor your profession, nor your calling, nor your status that makes you holy. Sure, the Lord uses those things, but it is the work of the Holy Spirit to bring about sanctification in your life through whatever circumstances in which you find yourself. But we have chosen to cling to these titles rather than the one given to us in Christ—that we are forgiven, chosen, and co-heirs with Him. 

 To the working mother, you are not a lesser mother because of the work that you do, and God doesn’t think you are because you work outside of the home. I know that you long for your children to know Jesus and you do everything you can to point them to Jesus. I know that you long to spend countless hours with them to make sure they know they are loved and when you are away from them, your heart longs for the hour you can be reunited. Like the Lord has given you your own children, the Lord has given you the people you rub shoulders with, the situations you find yourself in, and the ability to proclaim the gospel among people who may have never heard. He has given you these days, the years, to grow you, sanctify you, and bring him glory. 

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To the stayathome mother, this is where the Lord has you right now. I know that some days you may feel like you may not make it until bedtime. These days are long and hard, but the years are so short. I know you long for your children to know Jesus and you do everything you can to point them to Him. Don’t chase after the world’s approval of your stay-at-home status. Rather find contentment in the Lord and trust that the Lord has appointed these years for you–to grow you, sanctify you, and bring him glory. 

One final note of thought: I’m reminded of a verse in Hebrews that we would be wise to apply to this situation. The author of Hebrews writes, “Encourage one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” (Hebrews 3:13) We are not called to make ourselves feel better by putting another one down and elevating ourselves up. We are called to love one another—to encourage one another—to build one another up. This other stuff that we are doing in the guise of building up stay-at-home moms or defending working moms, this is not what we are called to do. Let’s rather push one another into Jesus more—into the truth of His gospel more—so that at the end of the day, there are no titles, no acclamations, but only that which proclaims Christ and praise to His glory. 

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